BMW 325ti (E46) | PH Fleet

There are two little plaques under the bonnet of UGB that, among other information, give you its colour and date of manufacture. They are Japanrot and February 2003, meaning my dorky little BMW is 23 years old this month. Or just two more years off ‘proper classic’ status, in my eyes, which feels quite surprising. To my mind, a classic is something saved for best, which requires a bit of effort to drive and some careful maintenance as well – none of those are true for the BMW (a little bit of top-up Castrol aside), and shouldn’t be for a long time yet. It’s used whenever and wherever; with phone hooked up and refinement good, it feels more modern than you’d think. 

Probably cars have just become an awful lot better in the past 25 years (until about the last five, it seems), and my framing of an old car is woefully inaccurate. I never really think of the Compact as particularly senior because it works so well all the time. Where it feels classic are only positives: visibility, sound, feel, that sort of thing. 

But even I must admit, when the weather is Ark-spec and the gloom is unrelenting, a car from 2003 does feel its age a little. The vulnerability is unavoidable against monster SUVs on the motorway while scurrying along much lower to the road, wondering if they’ve seen you. Look at the picture with the Grenadier for proof; the bonnet is about the same height as the Ineos towbar.

In the past few weeks, both headlights and foglights have been replaced, but even new halogens can’t compete with the very best Matrix OLED Super Nimbus 2000s of most modern stuff. And which so often seem right at eye level coming the other way. Obviously the ventilation isn’t the best in the world, and a little bit of moisture seems to be getting in as well. The stuff you don’t really think about tearing off to N24 in June does become a little more pressing on the nursery run in January. And does make getting something newer more tempting. How did we ever live without heated seats? 

I promise I’m only being slightly soft. When not being blinded by oncoming traffic or wiping the inside of the windscreen with a demisting pad like my nan had, the Compact remains a joy. It treads a really nice line, for me at least, of requiring some concentration and offering some feedback without being some kind of sensory overload. The steering, as is so often the case with slightly older stuff, is a revelation compared to new cars. 

Expenditure since Christmas has been for a new oxygen sensor, a small service ahead of a Yorkshire road trip next month, and an MOT. One day, I’ll have a car that I’m confident going to the test station with; suffice it to say a 23-year-old, 162,000-mile BMW is not one of them. But I needn’t have worried, the Compact sailing through first time with only advisories for an oil leak (which I knew about) and the fact that it was so ruddy wet on test day. So there might have been some things missed, though given this gets fairly regular attention from one garage or another (if only my local did a loyalty scheme) I’d like to think that it’s alright. 

Given a fresh bill of health for a few thousand miles yet (and some super unleaded as a treat), I inevitably began thinking about what could happen to the car over the coming months. In an ideal world, a wheel refurb, a paint detail and a tidy-up of the screen installation would happen, but to some extent that also feels like polishing a turd. The money is surely better put into the savings fund for the next car, because you’re never, ever going to make a Compact – especially one like this – into a desirable, valuable classic BMW. I have to be realistic about that. 

Still, with 12,000 miles now under our belts and the stout old M54 running as well as ever, there’s no desperate hurry to sell. I think. With another baby on the way, something fun and five-door would be nice, because not every family trip needs two-and-a-lot tonnes of Jag EV to complete. Probably it should be an automatic as well, but I really want to keep a manual if at all possible; it’s just where the choice was offered – Golf GTI, M135i, that sort of thing – the autos massively outnumber the manual. And nothing feels very affordable at the moment. Let’s see. At this rate I’ll be keeping old red until it turns 25 anyway… 

Car: 2003 BMW 325ti Compact
Run by: Matt Bird
On fleet since: July 2024
Bought for: £2,999
Mileage: 162,230
Last month at a glance: “Nice motor that, mate” – MOT man