Turkey! #05 — Bowling for Jackals
August 5th, 2025
Is there anything bowling can’t do?
Quasi-Impressions:
This too was atrocious, as the lack of any stabbings make self-evident, so I guess next week I’ll have to find something else to fill the gap. It’s the blonde girl’s turn to be all weepy, melodramatic, and flashbacky, and… that’s it, really. Sudden existential crisis, wait, changed my mind. I’m fine. Truly an encapsulation of the teenage life.
The coup de grace, as it were, on an otherwise boring episode was when a pack of jackals appeared out of nowhere to make the end of the episode dramatic, and the only way to scare them off was to bowl near them. Jackals being enamored of bowling balls, you see, and so they went chasing the loud rock instead of the prey in front of them. Note, chasing the bowling ball. Not scared off by it. Not bludgeoned by it. They chased after it for the 10-15 feet it would’ve rolled through a forest, and then I guess forgot what they were doing because the girls then settled down for hugs and naptime at the cliff they were supposedly running away from. After all, it’s not like there’s jackals nearby. People were paid to write this script. Or ChatGPT was. I don’t know which would be more depressing.
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